Really. Think. Hard.
I'm usually deathly afraid of the "people I live with" trick, but let's be honest. Sometimes, someone looks at you with their eyes shut, and you see something.
It happens every time. Someone stares you in the eye, not having a care in the world, and it's always a good idea to run away.
It happened last night, after I met up with a friend for a little game. Somehow, people involved in a trivia game will always misread their opponents' eyes.
As we were having our friendly banter, one of the guys in our group happened to look directly at me and see me looking away.
"Did you win?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah!" I answered.
"Seriously. Did you?"
Then the conversation got awkward.
"No," I said. "At all."
"Y'all lost," he responded.
"That's not even true," I said. "We won."
But the joke quickly went sour, and the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I checked my phone, and tried to figure out what I had just said. Was I lying? Had I lost? Did I have cancer? Did I tell a "f**k you" to my boyfriend after getting sucked into an existential vortex with him?
Fantastic. Now he's going to start calling me a liar and toss an STD into my direction.
Thankfully, you can't believe everything you read online. I only wrote this because this is actually a small problem -- and I was wrong.
I was not lying. I'm totally not sick.
We "won" the game.
See? It's a tiny glitch in your brain that only gets more trouble the more times you see it, and usually when someone else is trying to mess with you. And the fact that I even have a brain is pretty remarkable.