Today, our friend So’s the House is noting the sad day, January 15, on which we’re all wrong.

You see, everyone at this trivia table was playing for So’s the House in the subthreshold of half as many minutes as we ever even had. It’s a sentiment that we felt all too directly once, yet we have since been able to handle it with a civil exchange of tears.

The nine human beings in that trivia table, every single one of them, did not purposely spend their lives on social media. Now that social media seems like a silly, unwinnable battle to play against all day every day, a lot of us have fallen away from it. It’s in the past tense. Almost like they thought they were stopped before they could truly begin.

Today’s game really summed that up. One of my closest friends has been taking a break from social media for a while now. He was out of town for a little while and his family wasn’t too thrilled about it. They believe social media is incredibly damaging and destructive and clings to the internet to hold on to some of what’s good in life.

My friend has been on a similar journey to the one we were going through, but couldn’t really determine for himself when he’d start talking and sending provocative tweets again. He’s spending less time on social media, but still leaves a lot of room on those screens for what might be good because he’s stopped all those dumb judgments.

His family seems relieved that he’s realizing that’s that he doesn’t have to look that hard anymore.

Because the mental disconnection these sites cause is worse than you realize.

If anyone knows about that mental cost it can be tough to realize, but most people never do.

So to anyone out there suffering the mental turmoil caused by social media, know that you are not alone. We all feel it. Even those of us who stop social media, whether its Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, we still show how we really feel. We know that the line of people trying to ruin our lives because we are not engaging on social media everyday, or have, is more or less nonexistent.

Thanks to the invention of dating apps, it is even more difficult to keep a real connection because everyone at that trivia table believed that someone could be standing at that table, or anywhere at the same time as any of the nine of us.

That being said, they were all lying. Everyone was lying to their loved ones. If they weren’t lying to them, they were lying to themselves, and by lying to themselves, they were lying to the person that they actually want to talk to, not the person that they really do want to communicate with.

And it is worse than you think.

After this discussion today, and subsequently, I have even begun the process of not checking social media on my phone either. I don’t have an ipad, but I don’t let myself lose a minute away from family and friends during the day. I am totally doing the same with social media.

Maybe if you had seen these people play this last trivia game you might have listened and even begun to figure out if it is really affecting them, if only there was someone willing to listen to you. Today is a lesson that should have been learned years ago, but somehow we never truly do understand it until a lot of people get hurt.

Thanks to everyone for listening to this story and tuning in and for listening to me as I sing. So’s the House sends us our infinite love and best wishes.

I heard a song that you can thank me later? Every day.

This story originally appeared on ClickHole.