Reality: beer with an add-on of champagne isn’t that bad after all.
Reality: The drinking process itself is often misunderstood, with people attributing binge drinking to a particular lifestyle or a certain diet. Reality: It’s about the drinking, pure and simple.
Hating my family and friends for drinking? Reality: You’re not being allowed to have a sip of anything. Reality: Chit-chat is a funny substitute.
Reality: Your doctor’s office is a natural place to end up with a hangover. Reality: Hiding is a big mistake.
Reality: Prostitution is not just for sordid punks in the hometown streets. Reality: It’s a fine night out in a suburban condo. Reality: It’s not like this only happens in downtown venues. Reality: You can find love for your sweetheart without vomiting up blood. Reality: No money makes for a dull date. Reality: You just have to push yourself and grow a few teeth to meet the woman of your dreams. Reality: Sex is a welcome co-worker, well-deserved vacation, or consolation prize. Reality: If you need any more proof of this, just see a video of your parents dancing in happy moods! Reality: Carrying a purse keeps your drink at the table. Reality: Super starchy foods are a turnoff. Reality: You are addicted to purging for a good reason. Reality: Don’t believe everything you read online about plastic surgery. Reality: Well, you probably shouldn’t, anyway. Reality: You know a “cleanse” is when you do a couple of push-ups during lunch and back again. Reality: If something’s for a few days, it’s not a cleanse. Reality: A date with someone from work makes you feel really good. Reality: It makes you feel good that you can actually talk to that person. Reality: You could sound like a total rockstar and a tramp at the same time. Reality: Nothing is as it seems. Reality: You’re dealing with way too much effort at work. Reality: Women don’t want to spend the night with you. Reality: You’re an awesome cook, according to your peers. Reality: You have soreness after eating a croissant. Reality: Just eat a salad or brown rice and it’ll all feel better. Reality: A song is a means to an end. Reality: Sex starts with the first dance. Reality: Beauty is not about how perfect you look. Reality: You do get better with age. Reality: Putting the egg timer on can cure a hangover in an hour. Reality: Beer doesn’t cancel out the hangover. Reality: A big brunch isn’t going to do much for you. Reality: You probably overate. Reality: It takes work and sacrifice to fall in love with your ideal partner. Reality: You’re happy, but you don’t have time to date when you are so busy (looking at you, hipster posterboy). Reality: Hangovers are real. Reality: I drink so much I sometimes can’t hear you laugh. Reality: My bladder hurts so badly it makes me feel faint. Reality: You do not need an abortion to get pregnant. Reality: You never understand why a good guy is not going out with you. Reality: Looking at women in swimsuits and sweatpants sends a message. Reality: I can understand getting angry over thong undies. Reality: I work out in the morning, feel better in the evening, and drink to the point of sobriety in the morning. Reality: Love’s always on the way. Reality: My husband is not a playboy, he’s just a good guy. Reality: People need to stop reacting like I have AIDS. Reality: I look in the mirror after a night on the town and can’t believe I was drinking. Reality: A beautiful movie doesn’t always make for a great romance. Reality: Sex hurts so much it keeps you from laughing. Reality: You know how many times I’ve heard “I’m NOT having sex till we’re married.” Reality: Everyone is dead. Reality: Only one way in life is true love. Reality: I knew I would be having a big bang while holding this lightbulb in my hand. Reality: I know every single word to every song I’ve ever heard. Reality: A song is a means to an end. Reality: The computer is the sex toy of your dreams. Reality: I know what I want to say to your old lady