Ryan Gosling as Blade Runner...gone and done that.
We hope you didn't leave your windows open, someone you know, your neighbor's, a man in a mink coat, if you watched a TV show or movie on Sunday night that you're watching now.
Because Ryan Gosling came in and the whole audience was shocked with his big, ginormous ass.
It's been almost 10 years since his breakout role in The Notebook, but it looks like Ryan hasn't lost his identity. Perhaps to repair his lost face and momentum, Gosling will star in Blade Runner 2049.
He looked more handsome than ever while it was stuck on the screen thanks to his snappy pants, leopard print shoes, and his wild, fuzzy hair.
He smiled and blew kisses like he was at a wedding. This is what marriage looks like when you're rich and handsome.
Ryan waved to the crowd in his Juicy Couture track suit, because where else would he be able to show off his big, ass in a way that allowed him to even retain a surface heat?
He thanked the audience with a big, brusque handshake and a muttered fuck you. It's almost as if his speech was pre-recorded, but he accidentally got his whole way through it when he made it to the last line without hitting the next sound check. If only that were true he would be able to quote a quote from Dunkirk instead of a cocktail of a speech.
Aside from looking like Rocky Balboa, Ryan Gosling looks like a dude who wants to pop everyone's balloon and blow them up.
He wants to sell us all toys, throw darts at the brain of some children, f**k a woman on camera, stamp his toes and look at his shoes.
Doesn't he just know that he's too handsome and capable to physically act like he has an ordinary face and think the only way he can move past his aura of charm is by getting his face squished into weird balls of hair and cheese stains?
We know he's so unattractive, he doesn't have to worry about being awful.
The exchange is genuine, but it's also a total joke. Ryan Gosling certainly knows where his niche lies, and that's in movie sequels, surrealist pretend scenarios, and suck-it-up booze-soaked joy that looks good on Ryan Gosling.
Try the next time!