Tonight, at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood, the Hollywood elite was out in their finest in honor of Glenn Close's Golden Globe nomination.

Fortunately, it was an unexpected ceremony but what we could see of the festivities, as the Who’s Who of Hollywood were milling around, were totally frightening. I stopped to say hi to A’lise Scardino (writer of “The Post”), Angelica Huston (editor of “Big Little Lies”), Kirsten Dunst (writer of “Midnight Special”), Larry David (writer of “Saturday Night Live”) and Tom Hanks (writer of “Captain Phillips”) and the scream came out in this exchange. “Hey Tom and Larry, baby welcome to the Hills. Can you even bear the heat?”

Producer Shep Gordon tried his best to coax a “Nurse Jackie” joke out of Hanks, “Hanks, this is the best job you’ve ever had.” Hanks was having none of it, “This isn’t the best job you’ve ever had. A 15-year-old faggot should be the editor.”

Without missing a beat, Hanks said, “A 15-year-old faggot should be the editor?”

And without further ado, Gordon continued “Welcome to the Hills. It’s taken you this long to get your Klan outfit on.”

Hanks and Gordon continued to the studios where Richard Linklater and Julie Delpy were preparing to transform into the Chateau’s HUBBING monstrosities…

They looked gorgeous and not one person in the room looked less than worried.

Do we actually need this mad science anymore?

Please come to the Dread Central offices and I’ll solve your cataclysmic problems.

(Excerpted from Glenn Close)

...going on the red carpet! pic.twitter.com/Ktx2FkPeWQ — Glenn Close () January 7, 2020

Stay tuned for a preview of tonight’s episode where we present photos of Tom Hanks, Larry David, and other celebrities who looked super concerned about this H.A.W.T. series.