Husband, father, brilliant scientist who built computer technology to make it faster and easier to process information.

You have many of these things about your husband. You’ve earned that description. In adulthood, you own them. You suspect you are lucky enough to make him proud.

The perfect spouse: Self sufficient, astute, knowledgable, loving, intelligent, caring, fertile, romantic. Self at ease, self-possessed, self-aware, self-aware. And so on.

You know you can count on all these things and more. You feel wonderful. You can’t imagine having a different life.

You have this much to agree upon. You crave those things in a spouse.

You were an older woman when you married your husband. With age, only fathers could be perfect spouses. Fathers and daughters would enjoy a close relationship; husband and wife would understand each other.

Any subtle distinctions between father and daughter would go unnoticed by the viewer. Likewise, any differences between husband and wife would go unnoticed. A glass of rose. Check.

People who have children are understandably interested in good marriages. But it’s more interesting to learn about the men and women who are seeking new experiences with their spouse and children. The independent woman, working, with busy schedule and a young daughter.

The older woman, with grown children and a full household. The lonely parent looking to develop greater closeness with her child, without the burden of responsibility or the emotional pressure of romance.

These and other interesting individuals who are redefining love made their name by making the best choice for them.

They chose a comfortable, functional, loving marriage. They chose an uncomfortable situation and committed themselves to bring the situation into an even healthier one. They chose fulfillment of the needs of an aging spouse. They chose real security of their child.

The rest of us are lucky to have stable, rewarding relationships. Why so many singles think we deserve only mediocre romances or dysfunctional marriages is a puzzlement.

No one is perfect. No one has it all, all the time. The dating circuit includes singles striving to see how far their proverbial horizons extend.

Yet the societal assumptions about perfection in marriage attract many couples who wrongly assume they will make it into the “perfect” marriage.

There is no need to “make the perfect marriage.” There are plenty of opportunities for failure. That’s okay.

In most cases, a “perfect marriage” is just like a “perfect girlfriend.” Marriage should be another choice that makes someone happy. Try out your vision of the marriage at our website

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